Another Awkward Week [2.1.13]

Oh my god, you guys. 30 Rock is over. My life IS OVER. Just kidding, we still have Netflix and I personally would rather see a show do 6 outstanding seasons before coming to a cohesive, meaningful end while they’re still on top, rather than skidding along, a ghost of their former greatness ala the US Office or How I Met Your Mother.

Do I care way too much about television? How DARE YOU imply such a thing.

So yes, last night was sad and I’ll miss my cast and crew of TGS but life will move on. And when I’m sad, I can always dress up in my Liz Lemon costume and drown my sorrows with sandwiches and off brand cheese puffs:

lizlemon

I spilled sandwich all down the front of my shirt directly after this photo was taken. As true a tribute to Liz Lemon as could ever be imagined.

I went above and beyond prepping food for this party and am now considering a side job where I plan and host TV theme parties. I’m only 12% joking. Would you like to hire me?

Below are a few snaps of the excellent feast I whippped up, and do note this will probably not make sense to you unless you’re a 30 Rock fanatic, in which case you can go ahead and scroll to the next segment of the blog,  using that scrolling time to reevaluate your priorities and life choices.

30 rock food

Night Cheese, D’Fwine, Hayum, Teamster Sandwiches and the higlight of the meal: cheesy blasters. And how do you make a Cheesy Blaster, you ask? I’ll let Liz explain:

And that’s exactly what we did! Using this helpful recipe here, I took some hot dogs, stuffed them with some jack cheese, wrapped them in a pizza and we had cheesy blasters.

cheesy blasterThanks Meat Cat!

And I’m not even for one second going to pretend they weren’t the greatest thing I’ve ever eaten. See what you’re missing, vegans!

And that was my Lemon Party. A delight it was. Now let’s leave 30 Rock in our rearview mirror and move on. Here’s what else was keeping it awkward this week:

This Chicken Foot:

chicken foot

Because it is a chicken foot and it is just lying (laying? help!) on the floor of the subway. Grotesque. If you were to ask me what I love most about living in NYC I would respond “EVERYTHING!” But then if you were to ask what I hated most, I would say “except rent and chicken feet.”

This Hole:

rippppppp

Because it is in my favorite pants and yes that is a picture of my crotch. You’re welcome, Mom! She’s so proud.

These black stretch jeggings from The Gap were my favorite pair of pants, bar none. I wore them a minimum of four times a week without shame. I look amazing in these pants. They’re also about as close to pajamas as you could possibly get without actually wearing Pajama Jeans.

Well, they are no more. Last Saturday I wore these to a Crafting Party at a girlfriend’s house (details on THAT to come next week!) and then went immediately out to a nearby restaurant to meet another friend for her birthday dinner. While gathering my things to head to dinner, my crafty friend asked “what do you have between your legs?” The answer, it turned out was absolutely nothing. Just air floating through a gigantic rip just three inches south of my babymaker.

I had two options: go home or find some other pants I could wear out to dinner. My host rummaged up a pair of black leggings that I thought I could rock solo, until someone pointed out that they were completely sheer and sporting a solid control top.

Tights are not pants, girls.

I managed to get my ripped pants on over top of the tights and in the dark of night it was hard to tell what a mess I was but oh, I still knew. Last week sweaters, this week pants.

I could not be classier.

And that’s that. A short list, I know but I kind of had my hands full cheese shopping, so please forgive me!

And how was your week? Did you bare your hooty ha for all the world to see? Weep over a comedy TV show? Stuff a hot dog with anything fancy? You know I’d love to hear it.

Anything big planned for the weekend, too? I am going to be a Productive Pamela. I’m going to write (!), file my taxes, go to yoga, go to Trader Joe’s and then I guess watch the Beyonce Bowl. I probably won’t accomplish half of what I’m setting out to but I’m hoping that by putting my intentions out for the whole internet to see, I will feel guilted into getting shit done lest ‘ye judge me lazy. Let’s see if it works!

Ok, I’m outta here. Happy weekend, nerds!

xo Liz Ho

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Lemon Out!

I come to you with heavy heart today, my friends. Tomorrow night marks the end of an era. At exactly 8 PM Eastern Standard Time tomorrow, January 31st, 30 Rock will light up our television screens for the very last time after six glorious seasons of laughter and joy and friendship and ham.

Here’s how I’m coping:

(via)

I’ve had “30 Rock Finale” followed by three frowny faces written on my calendar for months and am celemourning (which is a new word I just made up when you celebrate something sad. Copyright!) by hosting a Liz Lemon Party, and you know what they say:

I’ll be in costume as my fave gal (pictures on Friday, I promise!) and I’ve tried to convince others to come decked out as well. We’ll dine upon Night Cheese, Sabor de Soledad and sandwiches. Someone will shotgun a pizza. White wine will be served for the Lemons among us, whiskey for the Donaghy’s. It is going to be epic…ally nerdy. Just like La Lemon herself.

Much has been written about Liz Lemon as a character – is she a realistic portrayal of a modern woman? Is she a feminist? Is she hot? – but I won’t get into that. For me, Liz Lemon, and by extension her creator Tina Fey, was just great. Plain and simple. Bananas as she was, from the moment Jack Donaghy correctly identified her “type” in the pilot episode, I knew this was my kinda gal:

I had big plans to put together my own lengthy retrospective on 30 Rock and what it means to me and how it has shaped the landscape of the future and women and can we have it all and blergh! But no one cares about that. We just want to laugh!

And so, in lieu of my own tribute, I thought I’d share some of my fave links from around the web that other more industrious writers and editors put together to honor the departure of The Greatest Show Of Our Time. Enjoy!

Vulture’s 30 Rock Glossary 

Vulture’s Illustrated History of Jenna Maroney & Mickey Rourke’s Sex Life 

 

Shit Liz Lemon Says video at NBC.com (image via)

Salon’s List of The Best 30 Rock Episodes

(Do you agree???)

Liz Lemon’s Top 15 Tips for Better Eating via Endless Simmer 

The Best of Jack Donaghy via YouTube

Annnd that should be enough to keep us all busy for the next two days. So, let’s talk! There’s no need for any of us to face this impending loss alone. What are your favorite 30 Rock episodes/moments? Do you think you’ll cry tomorrow? Are you happy Liz is finally adopting? Favorite characters? Do you prefer sandwiches or pizza? CAN WE HAVE IT ALL???

Lemon Out!

New Year, Same Everything

2013 is 16 days old and I suppose big changes are ahead but, for now, this new year’s lookin’ a lot like the old one. Here are  6 key facts that don’t seem to have changed since we flipped our calendars.

alarm clock

 1. It is important to remember to set your alarm if you don’t want to oversleep for work, like I did this morning, whoopsicle!

 bagel

2. Bagels & Cream Cheese > Oatmeal, no matter how many g-dang “fun” toppings you put on it

coffee

3. Caffeine sho ain’t easy to quit.

4. Tina Fey & Amy Poehler are American Treasures.

lady edith

5. It really sucks to be Lady Edith. (image via

Hurry & catch up on Downton Abbey at Netflix or PBS.com!

wine2

6. Wine makes everything at least 47% better. 

And, as always, I’d rather be just about anywhere other than my desk right now! Have a delightful Wednesday, my fine friends. Wake me when it’s time for Happy Hour!

 

xo Liz Ho