Another Awkward Week [9.5.14]

Hi guys!!! TGIF! Except I forgot it was F because of the FDW!

(Four Day Week)

But now it is the weekend and we can part-ay! H!

(Hooray!)

Acronyms don’t always work, do they?

Actually I kind of forgot it was Friday because I seem to have lost complete track of what day it is, where I am, what is going on. After travelling for the wedding (I just got married! NEVER FORGET!), Fire Island and Labor Day I am having a hard time getting back onto a normal routine. And life will continue to be nutty for the next few weeks. Tomorrow we’re going to New Jersey for a wedding for someone else, which people tell me means I’m not the one walking down the aisle? I don’t really understand what that means…I’m not the bride and center of attention? WHAT?!

I may need to be restrained.

J to the K – congratulations Kathryn & Mike! Can’t wait to celebrate!

And then next weekend we’re going to Maine for one day and then New Hampshire for another wedding (bitches be really committed to stealing my thunder) and thennn it is my 30th Birthday! Old lady alert. And then it is Brian’s 30th Birthday the weekend after! (I’m a cougar.) So basically my life will continue to be kind of crazy for the next few weeks and I have decided I am ok with this. Normally this would stress me out, because I like clear cut routines and schedules but I am “going with the flow.” That’s a thing right? I am just going to be “casual” and “fun” and keep drinking too much and eating crap and not worry about the gym and do my best at work and not have a heart attack if I don’t get my meal plan written out by Sunday night and (gasp!) don’t know what I’m eating every meal every day and maybe even stay up past 10 PM on weeknights (!!!) and just go with the flow.

It’s happening!

As a result of this, I’m not super organized for my usual recap but here are a few things that defined my week:

Marriage:

20140813_125414

We’ve been married for a mere 21 days (traditional 21 Day Anniversary gift is over sharing about your personal life on the internet) and are already fulfilling so many Married Couple cliches. Por ejemplo:

  • Last weekend we went bowling with another couple Saturday night and then Sunday…we went to Lowes.
  • Foregoing intercourse because “it’s just too hot out to try.”
  • Calling it “intercourse.”
  • JK I always call it that, it’s hilarious.
  • The other night when Brian was in one room doing his Fantasy Football draft and I was in the other room vacuuming and looking at Pinterest.
  • “Babe, I appreciate that you did the dishes and hate to be a nag, but how many times do I have to tell you, if you just stack the bowls like that they won’t dry!”

We are basically the living version of Everybody Loves Raymond. HELP!

Fantasy Football: 

yahoo-fantasy-football-12-07-554x535

Speaking of Fantasy Football! In addition to the league he was drafting for while I was wifeing it up in the other room, Brian does a league with his high school friends, which I have played in for the past few years. It’s too hard to get everyone together to draft so we do an Auto Draft, which is where the computer just picks teams for you. It’s not ideal but I usually finish in the top 3 so I’m all aboard.

UNTIL this year! After the draft, I went to Yahoo to check my team and saw they had a “Draft Report Card” and I’d gotten a B.

A B??? But, I’m a straight A student! What is this, 11th Grade Math? (Actually, if it was 11th Grade Math, I actually would have gotten a C minus and my teacher would have humiliated me in front of the entire classroom by telling me that maybe my younger and smarter brother should have tutored me…but that is a different story for a different day. CLEARLY not over it.)

But seriously…a B? The pain got worse. The Report Card includes notes on your draft. Mine begins: “Susan B. Anfernee was handed a solid draft position and apparently they saw that as an opportunity to blow it.”

WHAT!!! Screw you, Yahoo!! I didn’t blow it! YOU blew it! I didn’t even draft…the computer drafted for me and now the computer is telling me that I BLEW IT?! HELL NAW.

Offensive.

I do realize that I’m yelling at a computer about a fake football team and that’s a little insane but no one has been that mean to me since my 11th Grade Math Teacher!!

I might need to get over it…

Also yes my team is called Susan B. Anfernee. Because of Feminism. And Mean Girls. Duh!

Coffee:

20140904_125147

I really need to give up coffee because A) I’m addicted and B) it gives me a tummy ache and C) I keep spilling it all over the place.

Also do you like how I artfully styled that photo with the roses and the mess? The juxtoposition of beauty with disaster is a reflection of the mysogonistic humanitarian struggle affecting the earth and also it is about death. And sex. And my mom.

JK it’s just a stupid picture.

I don’t really care for art.

Annnd that’s it. THAT IS IT! What are you beauties up to this weekend?

I am going to go do some work and then go to happy hour and then go to this wedding and then who even knows what, I sure don’t because I’m going with the flow! I’m just a laid back cool cat taking life one day at a time, who even cares what happens and OH MY GOD where is my day planner and what’s for lunch and I haven’t checked weather.com in 4 minutes AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Smoochies!

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9 thoughts on “Another Awkward Week [9.5.14]

  1. Congrats on your nuptials!! (Which every time I hear someone say nuptials it sounds slightly gross, sorry!) Very happy for you guys 🙂 And yes 11th grade math sucked, mine would have also been a C- along with my C- in chemistry!

  2. I’m really not into fantasy football, but am doing it with my office this year and I got an A on my draft!!! Our office one was auto-draft as well so even though it reflected absolutely zero skill on my part I was still pretty psyched. Best of luck to the SBAs this season!

  3. When I finished my 11th grade math class, the teacher told me I “probably shouldn’t take math my senior year because it would only drag down my average and I wouldn’t get into college…” awesome, thank you Mr. whatever your name was. Gardner, I think. One of his legs was shorter than the other, so he wore one platform shoe.

    Awesome!

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