Hola, lovers! How was everyone’s week? Mine was equal parts amaze-sauce and bananagrams (both real adjectives). I’m going to just start with my very best foot forward right up front and beg forgiveness if I’m a little crazier than usual this next week or two. I’m going from vacation back to a short week into another long weekend into a nutters work week which includes this big (true), fancy (completely false), fun (debatable) publishing conference…I kind of already have no idea what day it is or where I am or really anything. All I know is that I’m currently eating chicken sausage and I really wanted to dip it in mustard, but my mustard bottle is basically empty – there’s mustard up in there, but not enough to squirt (that’s what she said?) (unnecessary, Liz) so I’m just taking little pieces of sausage and sticking them inside the bottle and scooping up whatever remains I can and surprise, surprise, this plan has backfired greatly and now I have sausage stuck in my mustard bottle.
My new book HoBag, Party of One: Etiquette and Manners for the Solo Diner hits stores next month. Preorder a copy today.
Toldja – losing it!
How about we just stop here and take a look at what was keeping it awkward this week.
This Tote Bag:
One of seventy zillion in my possession and also my carry-on for my flight home from Chi-town this weekend. Just casually blow-drying it. Because it was wet. Because I needed to wash out the coffee I spilled inside of it mere minutes before we left for the airport.
My book of travel tips is still seeking a publisher. Any takers?
This Other Tote Bag:
Full of produce. My company (hint hint as to what it is in the first photo) participates in this amazing CSA, an acronym which either stands for Community Supported Agriculture (my sister’s guess) or Crop Share Association (mine) and I don’t want to look it up because I’m pretty sure she’s right, she always is, and I don’t need to be reminded yet again that she’s smarter than me. My brother thinks it stands for Confederate States of America which yes, but also, no.
Oh hey, rambling diversion, good to see you here.
Anyway, whatever CSA stands for, what it does is deliver bags of fresh, locally grown produce to my office for participating members to bring home and cook up and enjoy. I’m pretty into it.
Of course they deliver veggies on Wednesdays and this particular Wednesday I had a semi-fancy event after work, so what did I do? Rolled in with a ginorm bag with leeks and spinach and chives poking out the top.
This Ring Finger:
Ok so it’s kind of hard to see in comparison to the rest of my bony alien fingers, but my left ring finger is decidedly crooked, thanks to a broken knuckle sustained on the soccer field in high school.
I mean, yes, I broke it but just running into a teammate. During practice. But still: sports injury!
I had to wear a ridiculous splint halfway up my arm and it was a whole scene and the doctor helpfully pointed out that my finger would be permanently crooked and might make it hard to put on an engagement ring IF I ever got one.
Want to send a 16-year-old into a tailspin? See above.
Anywhoo, since the break, my knuckle is severely sensitive to weather patterns and I can always tell when it’s going to thunderstorm thanks to a dull, steady ache radiating out from the center of my finger.
I am having serious trouble typing this here post thanks to today’s weather fronts. If my magic finger is telling me anything, we’re in for a surious storm. Hurry up, storm. I’ve gotsta blog!
I’ve also gotsta touch up my manicure, yiiiikes. And, yes, that is the toilet you see in the background. Our bathroom gets the best light! So sue me.
We already did have one storm today. How do I know, aside from me finger?
It’s a little hard to tell in this professional grade photo but I’m standing in several inches of rainwater which DELIGHTFULLY decided to pool themselves all over the landing on the subway staircase, basically forcing passengers to swim to their trains.
I’ve mentioned my love/hate relationship with New York and I have to say, the needle has fully swung in the direction of the big, fat H this week.
At least I had the foresight to change out of…
That slice of orange (technically Coral Reef by Sally Hansen, you know you were curious) on the top right is my toe popping out the front of my most beloved pair of Minnetonkas. Oh, how I will mourn them.
Have you heard of Minnetonkas? They’re theeeee most amazing moccasins, essentially slippers that you can wear in public. They are the greatest and I am literally heartbroken that this pair has ripped. LITERALLY not figuratively, grammar Nazis, my heart, like my shoes, is in tatters.
My favy fave outfit to wear is thus: these shoes, my softest black jeggings, a t-shirt and this jersey blazer that I bought from H&M that is a blazer, yes, BUT is also made out of sweatshirt material. Between the moccs and the jeggs and the blaze I have crafted an ensemble that is as close to pajamas as one can get while still wearing all public appropriate apparel. Cha-ching.
But now my shoes AND favorite pajama jeans have both gone the way of the dodo so I don’t know WHAT I’m gonna do. Dress like a grownup professional?
No annnnd NO.
Oh, what did I wear this week?
Initially this week’s sartorial theme was to be “patriotic” due to the impending Memorial Day weekend. I dedicate these outfits to all of those who have sacrificed yourselves for our country. You are SO welcome. I did manage to sneak in red, white and/or blue each day, buttt my outfits mostly turned out apathetic and weather inappropriate. When it was cold, I wore one of my many way-too-short-for-work skirts with bare legs; when it was hot, I wore black jeans and what appears to be a painters smock and some attractive rain boots (still not unpacked suitcase comes bonus with that ensemble) but today I think I knocked it out of the park with this nautical inspired top which a friend once told me looks like part of a children’s pajama outfit.
All pajamas, all the time over here.
Speaking of pajamas, I just realized that the actual pajamas I slept in all week are actually red, white and blue! Technically those are Christmas bottoms but we can make them Memorial Day for now?
Also that’s what I look like when I wake up in the mornings. Stars, they’re just like us.
And on that note, THE END. Happy Memorial Day, my American friends and lest anyone take my ridiculousness for insensitivity, thank you truly to all who serve in the armed forces and to those families staying strong at home. And to my foreign pals, Happy Whatever Holiday Comes Next On Your Cultural Calendar. Live it up!
Peace, Love & Pajama Jeans,