Another Awkward Week [1.25.13]

If I were to run for president, which I would most certainly never do, the stress would literally kill me dead, but let’s just say I had it in me to handle all of that pressure and decision making power, the very first bill I would sign up on Capitol Hill would be to enforce a mandatory four day workweek. Life is just 700% better with long weekends.

Speaking of Capitol Hill, do any of you watch the show Scandal? I’ve been meaning to catch up but you know, life, can’t win ’em all. I somehow just found myself watching one episode with absolutely no context or understanding of characters or plot and good GOD, I am hooked. This show is…arousing. How have I been missing this?!

Aaaaand moving on, before I need a cold shower, here’s what else was keeping it awkward this week:

These Guys:

drama-breaking-bad-season-jesse-walter

(via)

Ok not actually awkward in the slightest, I just wanted to share my greatest achievement of 2013 to date: I finally caught up on Breaking Bad! Did I fail to blog on Monday because I was in the midst of an all MLK Day marathon? Maybe. Was it worth it? YEAH BITCH!

This Late Night Snack:

wineandchoco

Wine and chocolate sauce straight from the jar with a fork because that’s what came out of the drawer first and I was too lazy to try again for a spoon. My clean & kind eating plan is going GREAT.

This Belt:

belt

I was pretty proud of this outfit, actually, don’t I look preppy and put together, minus the hair/face? And the way my tucked in shirt kind of gives me a Santa belly? Whatever, I look great. You can’t tell from the photo but the pants are hunter green. So on trend. But I forgot how annoying belts are when deployed for their actual purpose. I wear belts as fashion accessories over sweaters or shirts or what have you but it’s been years since I’ve actually worn one around my hips, through my belt loops. WHAT a disaster. This belt was maybe .0001 inches too big for the loops so every time I had to pee, which was probably 47 times, I drink a lot of water, I had to get the belt out of the loops and it would get stuck in there and I’d have to wrestle it out and then unhook it and untuck my shirt and then retuck and rebelt and reloop and no thank you. Why would anyone ever wear a belt? I just want to wear leggings and Old Navy brand v-neck t-shirts all day every day.

But since I’m forced to dress for the outdoors I wear…

This Sweater:

sweater

Yes, that is my elbow today replete with gigantic holes, pulls and pen stains. But if I scoonch the sleeves up to 3/4 length, ya can’t even tell! The holes have been growing and growing for months and I still won’t throw this out our buy new clothes. Fashion Icon .

This Couple:

PDA

This picture is atrocious so let me paint you a picture. Or rather scan you a diagram I drew on a napkin right then and there so I could share on this here blog:

small bar

Ok! Over the weekend my friend Red and I saw Silver Lining’s Playbook (really cute! But they needed thicker Philly accents. You don’t set a film in Philadelphia and not have the characters say “wooter” at least 6 times, you just don’t.) and then grabbed a few drinks at a nearby watering hole. The bar had these sort of high wooden cubicles with tables in them, which I tried to depict in my amazing diagram above. It sounds weird, but trust me. Because we were just 2 they sat us in a cubicle with two small tables pushed right next to one another. Red and I sat at one side(exhibit A) and no sooner had we ordered our first rounds of wine (of 4, I think…or 5? Yikes) when a couple was seated at the other tiny table in our cube, just inches away from us (that blue blob in the corner is my shoulder) and promptly started full on making out. Like, bumping, grinding, passionately going to TOWN on each other. Every so often they’d pry their lips apart but remain in full snuggle position, rubbing noses, whispering in each other’s ears, nuzzling. It was horrifying. And hilarious. Red and I attempted to continue our conversation while surreptitiously snapping photos of the randy couple, which seems creepy now that I think about it but THEY STARTED IT! This went on for probably an hour and they did not seem embarrassed. Even when the waitress kept coming by to check drink orders, they’d just pull their lips apart, order another drink, resume. Our waitress didn’t even blink an eye! Pervy if ya ask me! Why didn’t we leave? Well: wine.

But SRSLY people. If I wanted to watch two people get that freaky on each other I would have gone home, put on some soft mood lighting, and fired up some Scandal. Holy White House Erotica, this show is bananas. Which is not a sexual euphemism, despite the context clues.

And that’s that! Short post for a short week. What’s everyone up to this weekend? I’m hoping for snow! I just pushed a wrong button on my keyboard and now my font is giant and I’m too lazy to figure out how to fix it. SORRY IT LOOKS LIKE I’M YELLING. EVERYONE HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND!!

 

XO Liz Ho. Now it’s normal again! Technology!

Advertisements

17 thoughts on “Another Awkward Week [1.25.13]

    • Thank you so much, this was a huge achievement for me haha. And I KNOW, I am dying to see the rest. I’m so worried about Jesse. Don’t let anyone hurt my Jesse. I just want him to find a nice girl, get out of the drug game, maybe go back to school. JESSE!

  1. According to a game of MASH played this past weekend by a bunch of 12 year olds, certainly not by me and my friends, Aaron Paul and I are going to get married and live in a mansion in Prague, where we will drive around in a seafoam green 50’s convertible with fins, and maybe run a daycare? (I don’t know, I didn’t pick that part.) This is not particularly relevant, but whatever, I figured you would like to know.

  2. Any belt which gives you that much trouble should never be worn. As you didn’t mention it, I assume you managed to not pee yourself.

    I was standing behind a couple eating each other on the down escalator between the Central and Piccadilly lines on the London underground earlier today – at least yours took time to draw breath. Searching on my phone for the nearest hotel and paying for a room with my credit card would’ve been the greatest service I could provide to a relieved British public.

    I’ve never seen Breaking Bad.

  3. Glad to see I’m not the only one rocking sweaters with holes 😉 On a totally UNRELATED note, here I am, on a Saturday, drinking wine and catching up on Revenge, thanks to you. It better be worth it 😉

    • OK! Let’s discuss after you catch up. It’s still good and I love Aidan, love love, but I feel like it’s kind of getting hard to follow. SO many bad guys, like who are these people? But it is still good and Emily recently wore a blue dress that I need to own like, yesterday. Hope you enjoyed your wild Saturday! xo

  4. I probably have more shirts with holes than without holes at this point. I’ve convinced myself that no one notices them, but it can’t possibly be true… Also chocolate and alcohol is the dinner of champions.

  5. Pingback: Another Awkward Week [2.1.13] « One Awkward Year

  6. Pingback: One Awkward Holi | One Awkward Year

  7. Pingback: Another Awkward Week [1.30.14] | One Awkward Year

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s