Good morning, everyone! As the Bangles once said, it is just another Manic Monday.
I’m popping in today with my Week in Review regularly scheduled for Fridays. I try to keep things pretty light and goofy and self-absorbed round these parts but when I sat down to write on Friday afternoon, those emotions were pretty hard to come by. I won’t say much about the Connecticut tragedy here because, really, what could I say, aside from “Good news, I’ve invented a time machine!,” that could make any sort of a difference? My thoughts remain focused on peace and comfort as we start a new week.
[Insert awkward segue from sincerity back to self absorption here.]
I hope everyone had a nice weekend, for me it was one of the best. Friday I went on a double date to the theatre! Well, a high school play, but that totally counts. The drama club at the high school where Brian teaches was performing Clue: The Movie live on stage and it was a masterpiece. I’m not joking. I’m going to start spending every weekend watching High School plays. That’s totally normal, right? Saturday we were invited to a few holiday parties, all being held in our neighborhood. Any excuse for me not to have to leave Brooklyn is a true Christmas miracle. We wined and dined and in between parties we saw the ceremonial lighting of what is billed as The Largest Menorah in the World:
I feel like there must be a larger menorah out there somewhere, like, this is not that tall, but what do I know. I’m a Gentile. Fun idea for anyone out there looking to make the Guinness Book of World Records: you now have 365 days to start crafting an even larger menorah. Hop to it!
Then yesterday, I hosted a group of my girlfriends for a Classy Christmas Brunch and it was a smash success. I was determined to make this a Pinterest-worthy affair better than what any Bullshit Blogger might conceive of and, listen, I don’t want to brag too much but I think I nailed it. I don’t have many photos because I was too busy having a good time to take artful shots of like, my manicure while holding a mug of steaming cider or whatever but as you can see from this one beautiful snap, not only was there a glittering Christmas tree and a champagne cocktail with fresh cranberries floating in it, but I filled a frickin mason jar with candy canes.
Like. A. Boss. I didn’t even see that on the internet or anywhere. Just came up with it all by myself.
Goddamn it I’m good.
And that was the weekend! Here’s what else kept it awkward last week:
A holiday gift from some media colleagues. I’m really pulling it off.
It’s tough to read but what you’re seeing is your standard mini-van decked out with those cutesy stickers depicting their perfect family of four…directly next to a 50 Shades of Grey bumper sticker featuring Christian Grey’s catchphrase “Laters Baby” above a pair of handcuffs. Mommy Porn personified.
“What’s this sticker say, Mommy?”
“Well, Tommy, Mommy and Daddy are getting their groove back thanks to bondage role play and terrible literature.”
Because it is hilarious and because I am so guilty. Are you guys on instagram? I’ve become totally addicted and this video pretty much hits the nail on the head. Making matters more awkward, I have to admit that I had to watch it twice, the first time I missed most of the jokes because I was busy instagramming (now a verb!) this pointless photograph of a popcorn tin:
Social media, you’re ruining us all! Follow me on Instagram @LizHo914!
And there you have it! I thought I had more stories to share but I’m coming up blank. Just five more days until my long winter’s nap and I am phoning. it. in. I promise to be back with more hilarity soon!
Have a holly jolly week & make sure to hug someone today. Love is contagious.
xoxo Liz Ho