- Wake up hungover, contemplate dying
- Eat bagel, revive
- Wait too long to go to grocery store, get caught on hour long check-out line
- Return home with supplies: fixin’s for chicken chili, 4 cans of chick peas, strawberries & wine
- Rejoice over official notice that office is closed, crack open wine
- Cook and feast upon chicken chili, guacamole & pumpkin bread
- Raucous board game night with beloved roommates & gentleman friend, good moods abound
- Bed, AFTER 11!
- Awake to the sound of the wind, simultaneously excited about day off and anxious about work left undone
- Make coffee, sit down to “work from home.”
- Respond to 3 emails, drink coffee, refresh Facebook newsfeed
- Drink more coffee, respond to 2 more emails, obsessively check Hurricane Updates
- Make a quiche.
- Shower & dress in non-pajama clothes (jeggings count!) because real clothes make you “feel more productive.”
- Refresh Facebook newsfeed, storm updates, Twitter & instagram
- Take off non-pajama clothes and get back into bed, watch TV, nap, etcetera (bow chicka bow wow, High Five!)
- Reheat chili. Make a bloody mary.
- Refresh Facebook newsfeed, storm updates, Twitter & instagram.
- Write 92% of excellent blog post before losing internet & unsaved work. Become despondent. Flop on couch.
- Read 2 pages of a novel.
- Go to the front door and stare outside. Do not actually GO outside, you morons, death-defying instagram posts are so not worth it.
- Look for food for dinner, realize you have already consumed all good food & 80% of booze. Begin to panic.
- Eat old spaghetti.
- Flop on the floor & do “stretches” in attempt to alleviate feeling of housebound blobishness.
- Internet returns! Refresh Facebook newsfeed, storm updates, Twitter & instagram.
- Receive official update that office is once again closed.
- Sigh, carefully ration remainder of wine, think of what you have in the house that could be mixed with vodka leftover from lunchtime bloodies. Come up with: canned pumpkin mix, spaghetti sauce, squeezed juice from ¼ of a lemon.
- Write dumb blog post.
- Say something thoughtful about hoping everyone is safe, well, dry, alive, etc so as not to appear selfish to internet.
- Resume couch flopping.
- Refresh Facebook & WordPress newsfeeds & marvel at outpouring of comments & likes for witty, wonderful hurricane blog post (hint hint, wink wink).
- Lather, rinse, repeat.