Are you watching Game of Thrones? Of COURSE you are! Everyone is except me and I do NOT feel good about it. I base much of my self worth on my television consumption and lately I can barely look myself in the mirror. New York Magazine recently ran this Best Drama of the Past 25 Years March Madness Bracket thing and it really forced me to confront my failings. I’ve never watched The Sopranos OR Deadwood, I’ve only seen half of Twin Peaks and I’m still a season behind on Breaking Bad. Now here we are, starting the second season of the Next Hot Television Event Game of Thrones and I haven’t seen a damn second. I am pathetic.
Yesterday I decided I had to at lest make an effort to get caught up on this program, so I G-chatted my good friend Kathleen, a big GOT fan, to whine about how left out and sad and uncool I was feeling except TWIST: it wasn’t Kathleen, but a girl named Katelyn who I went to college with and was like, friendly with senior year but have not seen or spoken to I think since graduation, almost 5 years ago.
Here’s The Transcript:
I know I’m behind
but I really need to get myself involved in game of thrones
I feel left out
OH my god
but I thought you were someone else?
AH this is really awkward HI
Guess what, though? It turns out that Katelyn is actually living in NYC and…wait for it…OWNS Season One of Game of Thrones! So, was this an awkward social/internet faux-pas on my behalf orrrr was it the Lord Shimself working a miracle through g-chat? I’ll leave it up to you to decide. (And yes, I said Shimself. Until I really know for sure that God is a specific gender, I’ma keep it neutral. I’m not sure if I even believe there is a God, but if there is, I really don’t want to offend Herm.)
This divine intervention was lovely and it was nice to open the lines of communication with this gal again but it gave way to some questions: What now?! How do I end this conversation? I’d like to suggest we meet over drinks, but she might think I’m just saying that because I accidentally g-chatted her and I don’t want her to think it is a pity invite but a real invite but what if she doesn’t actually want to hang out with me but is being nice and tolerating my nonsense even though I’m SO rude as to admit like “whoops, did not mean to talk to YOU today” and then she’ll feel obligated to say yes and then I’M the one getting pity drinks?!
I decided to go for it. I had to keep the invite light and breezy, to counteract the anxieties chronicled above, so I said:
“Ok well I know it’s been a long time but I feel like the world/gmail works in mysterious ways so I’m just going to put it out there: why don’t we get drinks? or coffee in case you are now on the wagon.”
Why did I say that? What if she really WAS on the wagon or like, has had a life marked by difficulties of living with someone who does have actual substance abuse problems and here I come, accidentally g-chatting and trying to steal her DVD’s and reminding her about her lifetime of pain and suffering? Why, Liz, Why??
I’ve said it once, I’ll say it again: it is exhausting being me.
Oh, and lest ye worry about me, it all worked out! We’re getting drinks in a few weeks and they may be pity drinks, but no one has to know that. Also if anyone else would like to lend me their Game of Thrones DVDs or teach me how to use the internet to download videos or pay for me to upgrade my cable so I can get HBO, please do let me know.