“Hurrah. Am no longer tragic spinster but proper girlfriend of bonafide sexgod, so committed that he’s taking me on a full-blown mini-break holiday weekend.
This can’t be just shagging. A mini-break means true love. Suddenly feel like screen goddess in manner of Grace Kelly.
Though perhaps ever so slightly less elegant under pressure.”
— Bridget Jones
A few years ago I told one of my aunts that I worked in book publicity and her first response was “Oh! You’re just like Bridget Jones!” Initially I was mildly offended but upon further introspection have realized that Bridget is kind of the archetype for awkward, hilarious ladies, so I now consider it my greatest compliment ever.
Anyway, the point of all this is that I’m going away for a romantic mini-break holiday weekend with Brian and can not wait. We’re going to Vermont and we’re going to hike and bike and snuggle and eat maple syrup and, I’m sorry, I see I’ve made you vomit.
I’m not great at talking about love and romance in any serious capacity. One of my friends teases me that every time I mention anything even remotely sweet or cutesy or lovey about my boyfriend or the two of us as a couple I throw in some sarcastic and self deprecating comment about how gross or lame it is.
“We just said I love you for the first time, isn’t that disgusting?!”
“Ugh, sorry this is so gross, but Brian got me the nicest Christmas present.”
I don’t know why I do this! I guess I’m so used to being in tragic spinster mode that I am uncomfortable expressing romantic affection in a genuine way?
Or maybe I’m just a weirdo? This morning I woke up and the first thing that popped into my head was “Oh yippee, today at 5 I get to leave the office and tell everyone ‘I’m off to V-T with my Sweetie!!’”
Good god, Elizabeth. No. I knew there was a reason that romance (ew, sorry!) was so terrible: I’ve started speaking in RHYME! I also told myself I’d never actually say that VT/SweeTee thing to anyone but here I am, sharing it with the internet.
Let’s all just watch some more Bridget Jones and forget this ever happened…