Sometimes, when I’m bored at work, and doing something I find pointless and insulting to my intelligence, which is like 40- 80% of my work week, depending on the week, I like to play this game with myself where I pretend I’m someone else. I don’t like, walk around the office in a costume or try to impersonate real-life people, but if I’m on the phone with someone, asking dumb questions, I’ll just sort of spice things up a little bit.
I started just pretending to be an intern or whatever, mostly because I have this fear that every time I make an annoying phone call, the contact keeps a mental record of my name/what I’m asking and then they hate me and will never want to work with me on an actual professional level ever again, but, being like, “Oh, hi, I’m an intern from blah blah blah, I was wondering how many bathrooms you have in your bookstore?” got too boring, I suppose and I just had to go and get creative.
This afternoon, I made three different information gathering phone calls in the personality of “Tammy,” a 21-year-old college junior from Memphis, TN, majoring in English Lit with a focus on women in mid-19th century fiction, now interning at a large publishing house. No one asked for any of these details (though I’m sure they could guess the Memphis part from Tammy’s southern-fried twang) but, like Daniel Day Lewis, I’m method. Backstory is key.
I think it’s time to call it a day.